“We are quite capable of healing our relationships, we just sometimes don’t know how or are too lazy to do it”, is one of the quotes to save a relationship.
Have you ever experienced a period of crisis in a relationship? A crisis in a relationship between a guy and a girl is a turning point in a couple, after which the couple either strengthens their relationship or decides to break up. Unfortunately, according to the statistics almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. During a crisis, partners often experience stress and despair. How to understand that a period of crisis came in your couple? Read on.
It is believed that crises are an integral and essential part of the life of any couple who is in a long-term relationship. Without these periods, it is difficult to imagine the development and strengthening of the family, the transition of relations to a new level, filling them with new meaning. In some couples, the crises are more pronounced, in others less so. It happens that partners do not stand the test of strength and end the relationship. It happens also that a certain life stage of quarrels and misunderstandings that a man and a woman go through together confirms how deep and sincere their connection is.
How to save a relationship that’s falling apart during periods when it is especially difficult for partners to find peace and understanding? We talk about this in the article.
Signs You Might Recognize If Your Relationship Is In Crisis Period
To begin with, you need to figure out whether your relationship is going through a period of crisis or have it simply outlived its usefulness and can no longer be saved. To survive the crisis without losses and unpleasant impressions that will stay with you for life, you need to be able to track the signs of it before the crisis period. Consider the obvious features that indicate the beginning of the crisis stage in a couple.
You get bored in the relationship
Over time, you get used to each other (for each, this parameter is individual). You already begin to predict the behavior of a loved one, you are no longer touched by their everyday habits. Your family rituals lose interest in you, everything repeats and go in circles. At such moments, it is better not to wait for a real crisis, but to find a way to keep the enthusiasm for living together. Pick up new hobbies, and try to see your life from a different angle.
You get over-irritated in your relationship with your partner
This is often the result of boredom. Small disagreements turn into quarrels, you hush up grievances, and you begin to demand too much from a person. Your partner treats you the same way. There is still not quite a conscious sense of ownership. It seems to both of you that you belong entirely to each other and should serve each other’s interests. If at the beginning of the relationship you tried to understand the person and find a compromise, now you only defend your point of view.
You don’t have joint plans
A loving couple is characterized by the desire to make joint plans. In healthy relationships, people always have common goals and discuss plans to achieve them. This is a normal factor in healthy relationships. Unwillingness to share plans, discuss problems, and lack of interest in your affairs are one of the main signals of a period of crisis in your relationship.
You are tired of relationships
At the beginning of the relationship, there were a lot of romantic acts on both sides of the partners, and now you mostly sit in front of the TV instead of walking and having romantic dinners. Of course, this is not a reason for parting, but if you understand that this situation does not suit you, just remember that perhaps a difficult moment of crisis has come in your relationship. Can you save a relationship that moved too fast? If you care about this connection, anything is possible. You can always change the situation or your attitude towards it.
You are feeling uncomfortable in a relationship
Conflicts and quarrels happen in every couple, but if they become repeated very often, most likely, a period of crisis has begun in your relationship. One of the indicators of problems that are very difficult to solve is the loss of a sense of ease and comfort in a relationship. Previously, you laughed at the same jokes, and you were not bored together, but now there is no trace of this harmony. Silence has become painful, the dialogue does not stick, and all attempts to arrange romance or an ordinary heart-to-heart conversation turn into a showdown. Use our methods for maintaining relationships during a crisis, which we will give below.
How to Save a Relationship During a Crisis?
All couples go through ups and downs, so there is no reason to worry or panic. A lot of couples do not even think about the crisis that has come but simply overcome the difficulties that have arisen. It all depends on how much each partner values the relationship. After all, each successful overcoming of the crisis period is a big step forward. It is such periods that allow spouses to see not only the negative but also the valuable that binds them. We have prepared universal recommendations for overcoming crises for you.
1. Keep in touch with each other
How to save a relationship when he wants out? Constantly maintaining contact between partners is the basis of how to overcome this difficult period in a relationship. It should be the emotional safety between you in your relationships. Of course, no one has canceled the right to personal space, but try to find time for each other. You should decide how to keep this emotional contact individually. It is only important to allow your partner to interact with your inner world and be interested in what is happening in theirs in the same way.
2. Solve problems together
How to save a relationship when she wants out? Timely discussion of issues and conflict situations with mutual respect is an important factor in a period of quarrels and misunderstandings. Silence, resentment, accusations, toxic reproaches, lack of direct dialogue, and persistence in admitting one’s own mistakes: this and much more only contribute to the collapse of relations, and not to the search for compromise solutions. From any trifle, you can create a real, and even a long-term crisis in family relations. Should you text her if she stopped chatting with you? You could do the first move to make the relationships better. It is important not to start conversations with claims. Choose a calm, confidential tone, do not raise your voice. If necessary, prepare for the conversation: take a walk in nature, do meditation, exercise, and get inspired. Conversations in a filled, resourceful state are always more productive and conscious.
3. Try to find balance in relationships
Maintaining a balance between respect for personal space and the need for contact is essential. For example, some behavior of a partner is unacceptable to you, and this forces you to move away. What do you do if you want to push your loved one away? You need to decide what behavior will be acceptable for you, find out their reaction, and find that “golden mean” that is beneficial to both. This can only be done in dialogue. If the intensity of passion and discontent does not allow you to speak calmly, both can come to a psychologist.
4. Work at weak points
It is not easy to remain calm during a crisis period: emotions go wild, and resentment accumulates like a snowball. But try to analyze and understand: what is happening in your relationship right now. There are a couple of questions to ask to save a relationship:
- At what point in your relationship irritation began to accumulate in your relationship?
- What has become lacking for you, what is missing from your loved one?
- What could have been prevented, and how can it be corrected?
5. Set a common goal to save the relationship
To maintain a relationship during a crisis period, it is important to set a goal to maintain your union despite all the accumulated irritation, unjustified hopes, quarrels, and hurtful words. The intention to save your relationship requires a lot of effort, patience, and time: sometimes it takes months or even years to resolve a crisis. Breaking up is certainly easier, but in this case, you will not only give up a chance to maintain a relationship, but you will also most likely face similar difficulties in the future: any crisis in a relationship is nothing more than a reflection of our own “growth points”, a signal that we need to work on ourselves.
6. Talk to each other
The breakups of many couples could have been avoided if the partners had learned to talk to each other. How to save a relationship over text? You can do this online, for example, if you are chatting on a dating site, or when meeting with a partner. We advise you to start with one useful exercise that will help you save relationships. Here are important rules:
- Every day, the couple needs to allocate 20 minutes to communicate with each other, and you need a timer for such a conversation.
- Each participant gets one minute to speak. One minute and not a second more!
- After a minute, you must stop, even if you did not have time to finish the sentence. It is forbidden to raise your tone, speak too fast or ask questions.
- Your task at this moment is to share your thoughts and feelings without trying to offend the interlocutor. The point is that during those 60 seconds you get your partner’s full attention.
- The listener also needs to follow several rules: it is necessary to listen to the interlocutor, looking at them, without any reactions. Your job is to just listen carefully. You can’t ask questions either.
- Then, at the end of the minute, you change roles and continue to take turns talking to each other for 10 to 20 minutes.
After just two weeks of this self-guided “therapy,” you will notice a huge difference in your relationship.
Every couple has a period of crisis sooner or later, and your task is to be able to cope with it. Remember: if two people consciously want the main thing: to be together, then they can withstand any “hurricanes”, and periodically coming crises become another opportunity to become closer and happier in your relationships.