Our time is marked by social and moral freedom. We can enter various types of love and sex relations as long as it doesn’t violate the current law. The development of different kinds of personal relations made people create a number of new terms to describe them. Today we are going to talk about such spicy topics as unicorns dating, bisexuality and polyamory.
What is polyamorous relationship?
Polyamory is a type of relationship in which several partners are in a close relationship at the same time by mutual agreement of each of them. That is, a man or a woman can have several men or women, provided that each of them gives agreement to it.
Polyamory started long ago, probably from the beginning of any relationship on earth, but it was not called polyamory. Primitive people lived in large families to provide themselves and survive. And it was not their conscious choice, but the necessity. It is believed that the concept of polyamory as a personal choice of relationship was originated in 1848 at Yale University. There the theologian John Humphrey Noyes worked on the concept of gender equality and believed that “every woman is the wife of every man.” He is also known as a creator of the term “free love.”
The term “polyamory” appeared later, in 1990s. The phenomenon of such views on relationships was discussed in the article “A Bouquet of Lovers” in 1990. This article is one of the first mentions of “polyamory”.
Poly relationship is closely associated with values, subcultures and ideologies that promote personal freedom and equality in sexual matters. Polyamories are not afraid of experiments in sex, and usually try something new. They do not oppose homosexual relations. Such relations are based on the full freedom of the person.
Polyamorous relations are impossible without unicorns.
What is a unicorn in dating terms?
A unicorn is a person who has sexual relations with couples. The term is often (almost always) used to describe an attractive, hot, bisexual woman who likes having sex with heterosexual couples. Though, this notion has its exceptions because a man unicorn can enter a heterosexual or gay relationship as well. Also there are non-binary gender unicorns.
What is a unicorn girlfriend? Why does the name of mythological creature stand for a bisexual person?
The reason is that just like a real unicorn, a sex-kind of unicorn is so rare to find. There is an opinion that bisexual women are more eager to join heterosexual couples to have threesomes with them. But the real situation is somehow different. Girls often feel shy to open themselves to new people, especially to another woman. That’s why to find a woman who likes threesomes with stable couples is very difficult, close to finding a real unicorn.
What does seeking a unicorn mean? A couple that is searching for a bisexual woman is called unicorn hunters. Respectively, “seeking a unicorn” means the search for a person with unicorn sexuality. Very often couples spend lots of time and efforts to find such kind of person.
What is a unicorn sexually and why searching for a unicorn is that tough?
Unicorn sexuality implies the desire to have sex with both men and women. Unlike ordinary threesomes when a man has sex with 2 girls at the same time or 2 men make love to 1 girl, in Unicorn Polyamory, all participants of a threesome make love to each other. As you see, to find a person who is bisexual and feels attraction or even love to both partners in a nuclear couple is close to impossible.
What is a unicorn in online dating?
This term is ambiguous and you should be very careful when using it. The first notion you already know – a unicorn is a bisexual person who participates in threesomes.
The second meaning is the following. If you are on a dating site, searching for a perfect match, you are searching for a unicorn – an ideal partner that does not exist.
So, beware of the confusions!
What are the main principles of polyamory?
- Loyalty and devotion. Yes, you got it right! But in this case we do not mean sexual and emotional attachment to one partner, but compliance with the agreed limits.
- Trust, honesty and respect.
- Mutual support.
Communication and reaching agreements. Since polyamorous families consist of several people, and the principles of ordinary monogamous families do not always suit them, the boundaries and rules are set so as to suit each member of the family. Everyone should feel comfortable in this kind of relations.
According to adult confessions, poly relations have their own difficulties and pitfalls. What are they?
1. The number of obligations of the members of the polyamorous union sufficiently increases. Polyamore is responsible not only for himself and his partner; he has to be in touch with several people at the same time. So, it is difficult to organize anything because there is always a risk of offending someone, hurting, upsetting or insulting. Life turns into endless negotiations with each participant. When there is a constant need to discuss everything, the lightness of the relations disappears day by day.
2. It is impossible to turn off jealousy both yours and your partner. It’s hard to convince yourself that everything is going well when your beloved one has someone new. All the time you have to calm yourself. Cycles of relationships that exist in all couples, in polyamorous may not coincide: you can still be passionately in love, but your partner has already found another object of love with whom he spends more time than with you. At the same time, the current relationships also need development and investments in them. It drains all participants.
3. In a polyamorous Union, it is more difficult to respect personal boundaries because society does not have a clear idea of what polyamory is and how to live in it. People in ordinary couples find it difficult because society does not promote an attentive attitude to personal boundaries (what you can do to me and what you cannot, what is good for me and what is bad).
4. It’s not lasting. Since polyamorous unions are not connected by anything of social values – a house, kids, marriage, then in case of a crisis in the pair there is no external linking motivation to continue the relationship.
5. It is difficult to resist the pressure of society. Man is a social being, it is important for us to be accepted by society, otherwise minorities would not fight for their rights and acceptance on equal terms. Society is basically intolerant to diversity. You have to be prepared to either hearing criticism all the time or telling lies or hiding your personal life. All variants do not contribute to inner harmony.
To enter or not poly relationship is the personal matter. Some people feel uncomfortable within boundaries of classic heterosexual relations. Well, they can do whatever they like until it doesn’t harm anyone. Do you agree?